If service is a large component, you can discuss how pleasing him ultimately pleases you as well. If this is the case, then you simply need to explain it to him. In fact, if he does have interest in dominating you, he might not understand what you see in playing the counterpart. It’s something that makes you more aroused.Įither way, your boyfriend or husband might need encouraging if you’re really interested in submitting. For example, you can tell him that although something might hurt, you don’t experience it in a negative way. If you know that pain or submission turns you on, you can also explain how that feels for you. Having a safe word, which you’ll read about later, can help put you both at ease. This is a major stumbling block for some couples. You may also find that your partner is interested in trying on the dominant role but is worried about hurting you. While you can’t force the desire to dominate in another person, you can highlight how powerful he will feel by taking on that mantle so that he can make demands of and perform erotic activities with you. Hopefully, you’ll be matched with a partner who is interested in playing the counterpart role to yours, but this isn’t always the case.
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You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. This also gives you time to research BDSM activities that could be risky. Unless he might be receptive during the moment, it’s better to have this discussion in a neutral time and place. You might simply want to be taken over his lap, but saying you want to try “BDSM” might bring to mind more extreme forms of bondage and discipline or even ideas of abuse that aren’t actually safe, sane and consensual. Many of these activities also show up when you have rough sex.
If you’re unsure how your partner will react, approach the subject by explaining exactly what it is you wish to do – being tied up, spanking, flogging, blindfolds, orgasm control, service or some other form of BDSM. Click here to take my quick (and shockingly accurate) “Blow Job Skills” Quiz right now and find out how good your blow job skills really are. It may uncover some uncomfortable truths, or you may discover that you are already a queen at giving blow jobs. Side Note: I put together this in-depth assesment that will uncover just how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man.